ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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