I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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