your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
