are you still at the devil's house?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
