She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
