so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize