my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
