I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
