What a fucking waste of an outfit
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
