I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I FOUND THE LEGS
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
