Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
