She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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