Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
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the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
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He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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