my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
