I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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