I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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