she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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