Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
