To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
