My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize