Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
