I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize