well I can't set my house on fire every night
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I intend to get homeless drunk
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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