Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize