At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
