at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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