we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
