I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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