i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
