Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
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I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
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Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim