Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.

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  (410): It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force. http://tfl.nu/y0by
  Replies (44) Good night (3680) Bad night (1926)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.

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  (716): I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad. http://tfl.nu/80p7
  Replies (27) Good night (6558) Bad night (905)
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  (510): View more from California

  Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

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  (510): Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay http://tfl.nu/s2rn
  Replies (65) Good night (21276) Bad night (2277)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.

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  (814): the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently. http://tfl.nu/7dnx
  Replies (6) Good night (3660) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it

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  (717): if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it http://tfl.nu/n58g
  Replies (16) Good night (3579) Bad night (1642)
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  (323): View more from California

  He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated

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  (323): He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated http://tfl.nu/z16t
  Replies (7) Good night (3207) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.

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  (617): Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won. http://tfl.nu/nnbm
  Replies (13) Good night (1268) Bad night (2087)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.

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  (905): Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now. http://tfl.nu/gjj1
  Replies (4) Good night (694) Bad night (2880)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW

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  (319): 4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW http://tfl.nu/z9cc
  Replies (9) Good night (1902) Bad night (590)
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  (707): View more from California

  Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.

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  (707): Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish. http://tfl.nu/itg6
  Replies (4) Good night (1726) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...

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  (310): may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy... http://tfl.nu/t47h
  Replies (11) Good night (685) Bad night (1247)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend

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  (607): Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend http://tfl.nu/0ja4
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.

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  (765): I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying. http://tfl.nu/f7nf
  Replies (3) Good night (826) Bad night (431)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto

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  (419): He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto http://tfl.nu/0r80
  Replies (0) Good night (446) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.

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  (770): You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count. http://tfl.nu/ytdj
  Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (175)

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