and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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