he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
