i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
