We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
