Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
