happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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