Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
