Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
