some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
