I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
