Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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