Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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