Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
