Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i've created a new STD.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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