Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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