Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
