Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
