Whod you bang
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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