I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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