if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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