false alarm. still invincible.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think people are normalizing furries
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