Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize