Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
