He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
