I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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