she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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