margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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