a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
