Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
