she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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