How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
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Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
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Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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