On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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